Stories of Language, Music, and Love
Guest post by Lerner Publishing Group, 2024 Platinum Sponsor
Cruzita and the Mariacheros is the story of my heart, inspired by my own upbringing as a Mexican American child in Los Angeles, navigating the nuances that come with straddling two cultures. Little did I know that art would imitate life as my journey to publication would prove to be a bumpy ride driven by one major stereotype: every Mexican Americans’ first language is Spanish.
As agents and editors alike questioned the authenticity of such a story featuring a character surrounded by Spanish but speaking very little of it, I began to question my own identity. I doubted myself: Am I Mexican enough to tell Cruzita’s story?
My grandparents’ poignant stories about being Spanish speakers in an English-only learning environment, where they were often physically punished, helped me empathize with their decision to deprive their children and grandchildren from their linguistic heritage. If we spoke Spanish, we too might be punished, our education jeopardized. Although, there were many complicated and contradictory rules as we got older, our accents solidified in English. The biggest rule: do not speak Spanish so well that people will question where you’re from, and also try not to sound too American so that people will question where you are from.
Growing up, I was exposed to few books about Mexican culture and Mexican Americans. Did they have these same rules about language? Too Many Tamales and Like Water for Chocolate were my only literary references of representation outside of my families’ personal stories. Except, those characters seemed to know themselves fully and culturally. Meanwhile, I learned about the Mexican tradition of Día de Los Muertos because my fourth-grade teacher read us The Halloween Tree, in which Ray Bradbury leads his readers through global traditions around death and dying. I remember a distinct sadness after reading I didn’t like that I had to discover myself through the imagination of an author who did not have much of a resemblance to my family. My grandparents could have at least taught me this one cool tradition themselves; there was no need to hide it from me.
While my grandparents’ tales of hardship confirmed that I am of Mexican descent and undeniably Mexican American, how do I explain my background in a query letter to an agent soliciting Latinx/e stories to editors? I couldn’t and wouldn’t, not when the Latinx/e’s market wanted a very specific narrative.
In 2020, the year I began writing Cruzita, publishing had intentionally carved out spaces for Latinx/e stories. I knew Cruzita’s story deserved a space on that shelf. I, and many children like me, deserved to see ourselves there, too. Except, for a while, publishing did not readily accept or feature stories about children who, like me, were deliberately removed from their cultural background.
It wasn’t until I read The Other Side of Happy by Rebecca Balcarcel that I realized more stories about no sabo kids, or children who do not speak Spanish, deserve their own space within Latinx/e literature to freely acknowledge their grapplings with language and fumblings within their culture. I was not, in fact, an imposter. Cruzita’s story was very much mine, both authentic and rooted in a troubling, and complicated, linguistic history.
The more I tell people about Cruzita’s journey, the more adults who experienced the delicate teetering of being bicultural as children, openly discuss with me how they wished they had a book like this to affirm their identity as a kid. When I think about the scope of childrens’ Mexican American literature, I see an opportunity for us to heal our hearts and find ourselves, which then in turn allows us to teach future generations: there is no one right way to be Mexican American.
Ashley Jean Granillo is a Mexican American writer and educator hailing from the San Fernando Valley. She has her BA and MA in Creative Writing from California State University Northridge and holds her MFA in fiction from the University of California Riverside, Palm Desert. She is also a member of Las Musas, a collective of Latinx authors whose gender identity aligns with femininity. Her short story “Besitos” was featured in Where Monsters Lurk & Magic Hides, a Latine/x short story genre anthology. Cruzita and the Mariacheros (Lerner Publishing) is her debut middle grade contemporary novel.
Ashley Granillo’s Website: https://www.ashleygranillo.com/contact-me
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