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Navigating Grief During the Holidays

Guest post by CK Malone, Read Your World Bronze Sponsor 2024

So. Real truth.

THE HOLIDAYS.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Let’s all Box Breathe because they are a lot for EVERYONE in some way. 

They are frantic, frenetic, and, hopefully, fantastic! But they also bring up emotions we swim in until we are pruney at the fingertips and even refuse to get out of the pool because it will be “disrespectful” to a person’s or a people’s memory. You spent a lot of time loving someone, connecting with someone, and now you might be grieving someone. 

THAT. IS. HARD.

They might be missing at the table, they might be missing at a social gathering, and they might be missing in your life. Heck, you might be grieving YOURSELF. (BTW, that’s okay. I grieve the loss of myself all the time.)

Have grace with yourself. How you feel is absolutely valid. No one can tell you how to be or how to act during this time. Your grief may manifest itself in many ways and that’s understandable. It’s how you deal with these feelings and emotions that makes the difference. You may want to scream, fight verbally, fight physically, self-harm, withdraw, journal, cocoon, etc. Maybe all of these. Maybe none of these.

Real truth again. My dealings with grief were toward the self-harm and fight verbally stages. They were my outlet. Until I realized my grieving caused OTHERS grief. Then I sought help because that wasn’t what I wanted for the loves in my life. 

Because, at the end of the day, your grief matters and you are loved just as you have loved others. The world is here for you. You just need to stick out your hand and ask for help.

Take a moment to reflect. Is your grief harming others or yourself?

If so, here are some resources: 

For grief counseling and suicide prevention, a small list of those to please call/contact:

CK (they/them) is super proud of being a Bigender (technically born Intersex) Neurodiverse kidlit author and MTSS teacher at the secondary level. When not helping students or writing, they’re busy helping design culturally and LGBTQIA+ responsive units for the district or coaching and advising through alignment with the Genders and Sexualities Alliance Network. They also enjoy speaking, teaching, cooking, singing, learning the language of their grandmother, playing music, and shooting hoops with students.

Connect with them on their website or on Facebook and Twitter.

About Popi’s All Souls Song

Every year on All Souls Day, Mara and her grandparents visit homes in their neighborhood to bring comfort and a song to those mourning the death of a loved one. But this year, Mara and Nene have lost Popi. As Nene leads Mara through their yearly ritual, Mara compares her own grief to that of each neighbor they visit. Then she catches sight of the frozen tears on Nene’s face.

Setting aside the bitterness icing her heart to help her beloved grandmother, Mara rekindles Popi’s song and brings her community together to honor him.

Popi’s All Souls Song is a poignant, timeless story with luminous art, drawing readers into the realization that no person’s loss or grief is bigger or more important than anyone else’s. And when we bring comfort to others, we experience comfort ourselves.

Related Post: What is grief? by CK Malone.